I AM

'I am' 
I am filled with darkness that rots like an oozing sore that hasn’t been bandaged
I wonder if you have a scratchy gray monster that gnashes its teeth above your head
I hear a scuttling claw click across a cold linoleum floor
I see a narrow hallway that fades into the distance
I want the two-ton terror sitting on my chest to vanish
I am filled with darkness

I pretend to slice open the back of my brain with a sharp fingernail 
I feel the balloon shrivel, air squeaking as it deflates
I touch and poke the gooey red rubber
I worry the throbbing heart won’t leave my head.
I cry when I surrender, screaming face down into a pillow
I am filled with darkness.