THE RESURRECTION OF WRITING

One year.

That's how long its been since I last updated my blog. 

One year and one day. 

In that time, my world has changed. Its been destroyed and built up and revitalized all over the course of 12 months. I've become a wife, a well-traveled city-girl, and a daughter without her father. 

I've typed and backspaced eight or nine times now, trying to write about all of the exciting new things infiltrating my life: a spectacular wedding, Luke's new career, a chic high-rise apartment. That's what I wanted this post to be about. But I'm left thinking about that last line; a daughter without a father.

You don't know it at the time, but you join a club when your parent dies. For a while, it feels like it defines you. Its full of people who pretend they know how to deal with guilt and pain-- and grief, and sorrow. We grit our teeth and smile, but none of us really know what the hell to do.  Its full of people who look at you differently on holidays because they know what its like not being able to make a phone call or share a meal. Its full of people with open arms who suggest a Xanax or a pitcher of Mimosas on Christmas morning.

So while I'm excited to share my life and the resurgence of my writing, what I really want to do is call my dad. I want to tell him that I'm okay, mostly okay.  I want to tell him that I'm 217 miles closer to mom. That I'm happy. That Luke is a great husband and partner. That Hippo would never fit on his lap now. And that I'm trying to clear my head so I can write again. 

But writing is hardly about being cloudless. Its poignant and being so profoundly confused or messed up that your poor brain melts out of your head, tattered and tainted, and seeps on to bright white pages with fresh black ink.

So today, after one year and one day, I resurrect. I take my raw edges and stop trying to smooth them, carefully and delicately, like ripping a new edge will ruin the paper and should be thrown away. Today, I go on. 

CAROLYN AND CORALINE: THE BOOK SELFIE PROJECT

"Its Carolyn not Caroline!"

Just like Coraline Jones, the protagonist of Neil Gaiman's dark fantasy novella, I find myself relentlessly reminding people of my name. When I bent back the cover again in 2016, I remembered how it felt to be a young girl, determined to discover the world and explore the darkest nooks and crannies. Today, Coraline perpetuates my creativity as I use it to inspire my own middle-grade fiction novel and it awakens my notion of what it really means to be brave.

IMAGE

What is Coraline About? 

Coraline Jones is a young girl with a perilous taste for adventure. Despite warnings from musical field mice and talking black cats, her curiosity catapults her into a dystopian alternate-reality where her 'other mother' wants her to live forever. To make things right, Coraline sets out on a quest of bravery where she must win a malefic game to avoid a terrible fate.

My Favorite Quote:

"Being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared. Being brave means you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway."

Why Did I Choose Coraline?
Coraline, in a way, chose me. Growing up, I was always more of a well dressed tom-boy who would rather catch bugs and salamanders in the pond than play with Barbies. I'll never forget when one of the neighborhood girls tattled on me because I refused to play dolls with her. When my mother asked me why, I told her "I like being a little girl. Why would I want to pretend to be a grown up?"

IMAGE

Like Coraline, I have always felt an overwhelming sense of wonder and thrive off pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. Having a courageous female lead who explores her independence, curiosity, and whimsy empowers me and reminds me to let my imagination run wild. 

GETTING LIT, BOOK & WINE CLUB

Let's face it, life moves really quickly. That's why me and my best friends decided to create a club dedicated to two of our favorite things: wine and books. Our club, Getting Lit (thanks Kel for the great name!), lets us stay connected no matter how near or far we are (mostly far). We have come up with a few general guidelines and will be alternating new wines and books each month. You can find reviews for whatever decadence we will be enjoying with three different sets of eyes. 

Members

             Carolyn

Highlight Reel

Ultra-girly Horror Blogger and English Teacher

Favorite TV 

Scream Queens, Breaking Bad, and American Horror Story

Dirty Little Secret

Buys books based on how pretty their covers are
Blog
http://carolyndzurko.blogspot.com/

                 Alaina

Highlight Reel

Member of the Spartan Trifecta Tribe and Fitness Instructor

Favorite TV

Cupcake Wars, House of Cards, and Anything on Bravo

Dirty Little Secret
Eats frozen Pizza when her husband is out of town
Blog
http://thestartinglain.com/

                 Kelly

Highlight Reel
Glitter-obsessed Gluten-intolerant Naval officer

Favorite TV
Parks and Rec, New Girl, and Bob's Burgers

Dirty Little Secret
Self-Proclaimed connoisseur of nachos 

Blog
https://kellybeing30.com/

Check back with us to see if we ever make it to the reading part!

MY FIFTEEN...

My life the past few weeks...

Recently, I wrote post titled:

 FINDING TIME FOR YOURSELF IS SCARILY HARD TO DO.  The post touches on finding 15 minutes a day to do something for yourself: read a book, listen to a podcast, cook shrimp-scampi, paint your toes- whatever. So, after telling ya'll how important it is to find a few minutes to decompress I'll admit, I've been struggling to find time for myself already. 

Last Thursday, I came home after a hard day of teaching and coaching and sat down for the first time in hours. To the left of me: a pile of papers to grade and to the right: a basket of laundry. Instead of tackling the stacks, I stared.  I stared off into space and thought about nothing. A few minutes later the door opened; it startled me. My boyfriend bounded in, he had just returned from the gym.

"How was your day, babe?" he asked excitedly, wiping the sweat off his brow.

I pulled my legs in close to my body. "I'm exhausted" I said in a deflated voice.

"We need to get you some energy!"

My eyes welled with tears.

Lately my days have been long- filled with teaching, coaching, grading, professional development courses, and creating lesson plans- and it is only the first month of school. In my spare time, I have been doing things that keep me alive: showering, eating, and going to sleep early.

"I haven't had any time to write," I said as a tear made its way from my deep brown-eyes and trickled on to my cheek.

Luke wrapped his arm around me. "You need to let something go" he said as he squeezed me.

I smiled at him. In my head I was thanking him for unconsciously giving me permission to relax a little. I let out a sigh and returned the hug.

"Let's make a nice dinner and then take a walk," he said, "Its going to be a beautiful evening out tonight."

"I think I need it" I responded, my eyes still a little swollen. Luke pulled me in closer, brushed a few wisps of hair out of my face, and gave me a kiss.

"Thank you," I replied. Approximately an hour later my phone rang.

"Dzurko" I heard at the other end- it was my department head and co-cheerleading coach, "I'm tired." The declaration ended there. A smile secretly crept up my cheeks."My God," I said, "It's so nice to hear I'm not the only one." We both let out a girlish laugh and a sense of relief was released.

Sometimes, when you're over-working or over-thinking things, the best medicine is knowing you're not alone. Having a support team to surround you is truly a gift from God. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful family and school staff to share my highs and lows with.

"Dzurko" I hear again, but this time from across the hall, "Go home!"

So with those words, I'm headed home. I am freeing myself from my desk and going to go enjoy some me time. Tonight, that means eating Lemon Chicken at the coffee table.

This is tomorrow's fifteen...

 I hope you are making time to take yours.

TAKE A PIC WITH YOUR FAVORITE LIT: THE BOOK SELFIE PROJECT

Good afternoon to my 12th grade English class!
My blog post today is centered on my first assignment for English 4: take a selfie with your favorite book and report back to us why you love it.
To help my students get a better understanding of the assignment and what I'm looking for I made my own book-selfie. For my project,I chose a book that is near and dear to my heart and I am incredibly excited to teach it this year-
Cue the thunder and lightening and ominous music...
my book-selfie is on 

BRAM STOKER'S 
DRACULA

Written in 1897
Genre- Gothic Fiction

What's this book about?
Stoker's Gothic masterpiece takes us on a journey from the Carpatheian Mountains to the city of London where he demonstrates the lengths people will go for true love. Count Dracula, a Transylvanian aristocrat with a thirst for human blood, preys upon the weak. While entertaining a business transaction, Dracula sets his sights on Jonathan Harker, an English solicitor looking to finalize a real-estate deal. Harker, initially blinded by Dracula's refinement and charm, quickly realizes he has become a prisoner in the Count's castle. After barely escaping a gruesome fate, Harker with the help of his colleagues, sets out to warn his loved ones about the evil vampire.

Why I recommend it:
I love this book because it amalgamates romance with horror. If you have a soft spot or a dark side like me, you'll love Dracula. In addition to the great blend of genres, the epistolary form in which the book is written takes the reader on a beautifully descriptive adventure. It  shows us places like crumbling castles and lush green gardens. The imagery becomes so descriptive at times, I believe I can hear the wind blow or see the glow of the moonlight. If you ever wondered where the man, the myth, and legend came from and thought Twilight was wimpy, check out Bram Stoker's Dracula. I can't wait to share it with you all!
My favorite quote from Dracula:

 "Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!"

Book Recommendations:
In college, I took a course called "Vampires and Other Blood Suckers". During this time, my professor introduced me to a collection of novels and short stories based around the legend of the vampire. Three of my favorites that spawned from reading Stoker are The Vampyre by John Polidori (which we will read in class), The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova, and Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. Thank you to Dr. Verdun for being an inspiration.
For some more great vampire lit check out:
Salem's Lot by Stephen King,
Let the Right One In by John A. Lindqvist,
I Am Legend by Richard Matheson,
and Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu
You read the book and loved it, but now you want to see the movie. Is there one?
You bet!
Francis Ford Coppola directed "Bram Stoker's Dracula" which debuted in 1992.

Is it as good as the book?
You be the judge, but in my opinion the movie is rarely as good as the book. While Coppola's version does a superb job translating the book's vivid imagery and complex story-line, my vote still lies with the paper and ink.
Where did you take your selfie and why?

My book-selfie was taken in my office by the bookshelf. To the left on my bookshelf sits a modern gramophone and centered in the middle is my favorite piece of artwork- a colorful array of framed butterflies gifted to me by my boyfriend, Luke. I chose this location because these things always seem to inspire me and make me feel at peace. 

What does choosing Dracula say about me?
  Very much like my own personality, Dracula encompasses a juxtaposition between the joy of being in love and the gloom of the Gothic. Things that are unusual and strange, eerie, and dark and dreadful continue to excite me and shape my life daily. Psychologists claim that people who love horror are those that feel the most alive. As someone who has been following the genre for nearly three decades, I can tell you first hand that I feel more alive than ever. Grab yourself a scary book and feel the blood pulse through your veins.
Its exhilarating! 

Note to my 12th grade students:
 I can't wait to see what some of your favorite books are and I'm delighted for you to join the Blogger community.

Good luck,
Miss D

FINDING TIME FOR YOURSELF IS SCARILY HARD TO DO

Today, I am half-awake, one eye open a little larger than the other, barely making it through my first teacher work day. 

Sunday at midnight, Luke and I returned home to Charleston from a wedding at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs. The weekend was everything you could imagine. We were surrounded by love, a beautiful resort, good friends from across the country, and most importantly-- wedded bliss.

As I crawled into bed Sunday night with the cat vibrating wildly on top of me, I realized I hadn't made a blog post yet.

Folding my hands over my head, my brain kept reeling. Gosh, I thought, I start back to school TOMORROW. 

While I'm excited to meet my new students and see old ones, I began to worry- when will I find time to work on my writing? My days are fueled by mentally demanding teenagers, my evenings are filled with physically demanding cheerleaders, and at night I have a serious commitment to watching Scream Queens with Luke.

So when would I find time to work on me? In Spring, our fearless principal reminded us to be good to ourselves. "In order to be good teachers, parents, friends, and spouses, it is imperative to make sure we find time to take care of ourselves," she said. Unfortunately, its easy to forget that we as individuals are important, too. "Remember to take 'me' time," she included sincerely, "And find time to unwind."

Letting these words find their way back to me as I snuggled deeper into the crisp sheets, I decided I would MAKE time to write and relax. In between practices, after dinner, and during holiday breaks, I promised to pencil in time to work on 'me'. To some of us, 'Me' time is reading The Onion and having a laugh on our lunch break, to some of us 'Me' time is watching the Bachelor while we judge other women's outfits, to some of us 'Me' time is hitting the gym and sweating away the days frustrations, to some of us 'Me' time is listening to a podcast in traffic, to some of us 'Me' time is reading a book until our eyes get heavy in bed-

Whatever your 'Me' time is, make sure you take it.
Take it and don't feel guilty.

So, whether I write 5 or 500 words (sometimes the 5 take longer to write than the 500), I pinky-swear I will continue to work diligently on my personal projects and relaxation throughout the year.

Ask yourself, when will you find time for 'you'?